They are Fake

What they want, every place you try to be smart.
In every situation, you try to match your acting.
You show your brilliance, intelligence.
They exaggerate you, and it makes you feel good.

You fall down when you try to ride the ladder
of life’s purpose because at every step they strike you.
Sweet smile can be a powerful shock for you
If you accept, false promise can be a bowline for you

They are fake.
They make pseudo commitments.

They’ve the idea that they can make you both elating
and anxious. Against their mischievous intent, your
loyalty, honesty, dignity, integrity
and erudition do not work at all.

They can play a better role
than the character of a drama.
You are a learner
You’ll be a real actor
You’ll know. How to play?

They are fake.
They can appear in plastic faces.

Keep out your emotional distress.
They can bother you. They can betray you.
They can harass you. They can punish you.
They can tear you. They can throw you.

Do not trust them.
Be sure in your confidence.
Challenge them, fight with them.
Many times you can lose.

Keep working hard.
Challenge them, fight them.
Wait, someday certainly you’ll win.
One day you’ll reach in your life purpose.

My Grandmother's Kitchen

There’s no electricity
a darkroom like historic
my grandmother’s kitchen.
Now, Mesa Verde reminds me of it.
In the middle of the floor
was a wood fireplace--cooking stove
built by three stones’ combination.

A belief says that our
ancestors’ dead spirits live in fireplaces,
where the priest prays, worships
and bestows the gifts to make happy to them.
My grandmother’s kitchen is story
and glory of mine. It tells me history of mine.

Sacred fireplace is conducted by the divine power,
which was included in my grandmother’s kitchen.
My grandmother could keep it pure,
and she made it respectful all of her life.

Fireplace--Daabye, it was fearful for me.
My infant time passed staying far from it.
It was prohibited for me to be familiar with it;
if I unnecessarily teased with fireplace, my activity
would not be tolerable for the god--Saamkha.
He could become angry, and he would punish me.

All around my grandmother’s kitchen
was full with rakes and baskets those were filled
with various food and kitchen tools.
There’re iron, steel, brass, rubber, wood, stone
and clay’s instruments; they’re few modern—
pots, pans, clefts, spoons and tongs,
but they’re seemed unique and antique.

The wall was painted by clay’s red and white colors.
The ceiling and wood mainstays were tinted by black smoke.
My grandmother’s kitchen was natural and original.
I could get my real origin and identity in my grandmother’s kitchen.

It’s a marvelous panorama that is painted in my sightedness.
My grandmother’s wrinkled face, fresh ash like white hair
shone in the flames of fire. Her sweat fell like a waterfall.
My grandmother’s robust arms, faster hands,
expert fingers showed the magic in cooking.

She shared her love and affection with majestic feasts.
My grandmother’s liberal heart
made that kitchen as a common dinning room
for the alien and known. She received
many people’s appreciations for her kindness,
they still sing the song of her greatness.

She’s gone.
She left so many recollections in my mind.
No longer she will not possess it.
The era is changing so fast.
If my grandmother’s kitchen is not destroyed,
a hundred years later it becomes
a museum as a heritage of my village.


* Daabye: n. The word Daabye calls in Kirat-Rai Koyu/Bantawa language—fireplace or cooking stove.
* Saamkha: n. Saamkha is a type of God who spiritually rules in fireplace.
* Fireplace is a very powerful and sensitive place according to the Kirat religion.

A Moment with My Guitar

At the age of five picking up
of a guitar is still pride to me,
I had no other wish.
Just a sequential episode of my fate,
It reflects as an unforgettable
happening of my life.

My curiosity upon a guitar,
became as an inspiration of the music;
it’s a friend of mine either
a pleasing or depressing moment.
My deep devotion to it,
I did not dedicate to others than it.

My perception of the guitar
is a pretentious lyra of the world.
By its virtue of being a playful, handful,
experimental, technical and friendly.
How do I play?
I can play by my own schemes, skills and ideas.
Freely with a phenomenal:
genres, techniques, flavors, patterns, forms and styles.

In endeavoring to be a good guitar player,
I spent so much time and money.
Those will not return or refund.
It left me at a toiling place, nothing done.

I tried to know the vital secrecy of guitar, and I asked
but my guitar never told me the truth, it’s wordless.

Playing a tuneless guitar,
I made only an irritating noise.
It sounded too rough and obtuse.
Thus, numerous moments gone –

Dream to devise a masterwork in music creation.
I spilled sweat and tears.
Losing with the hope of progression in playing,
My heart transformed like a cold string’s key.
Empty guitar’s sound hole like my soul – bitter fruit…
A dark and silent night,
a lamp’s dim light;
in flowing of fragrant breeze,
a hanging feather’s dance attracted my sight.
Making warm hands, soul and mind
by beating, bending, slurring, sliding
to pursue of a broad, deep, vast
and mystic musical journey.

On the guitar’s hard frets
and tied strings, my practicing fingers began
to run in a profound movement of every octave’s notes.
Fine performing from semibreve to demisemiquaver,
reading after hemidemisemiquaver, I play
and sometimes failed to play prestissimo.
I did not delight with largo.
The joyous tone of presto relaxed me.

Arpeggio did hold on me.
My body shook in staccato,
and rested in fermato.
Psyche swung with glissando.
That’s the climax of invention
that I found a secrecy of guitar.
Swing, sweet sound!
It’s a sound of my heart.
It’s not the sound of guitar.

The ways were distinct in lifecycle.
Options came as an undesirable decision-making.
Playing guitar could not be my excellent choice.
Detaching my relation with the guitar, it split us.

The wave of paranoid in crescendo and decrescendo
that struck my solitary universe. My dreaming shattered.
I felt my exciting fingers will not run again in that profound movement.
Accepting those feelings, a moment with my guitar was gone.
Dream to devise a masterwork in music creation.
My dream will never die so long as I will be alive.

* Greek word "lyra" implies musical instrument.

Ghazal

Sweetheart, you don’t want to call back me in your memory.
Why do you want to wipe out our past affair from the memory?

We had fallen in love. Our striving to be together, fortune turned away leaving us in misery.
My love, we’re transformed as the two shores of a river tho’ you are saved in my memory.

I can never get to embrace you; our esoteric relationship is a memorable story.
You want to eliminate me from your psyche, but you cannot blank out your memory.

In your mind I cannot be erased because I am the your true love’s history.
Our ideal--gigantic, beauteous realm is reminiscent in your day and night’s memory.

Thus, why have you changed? Being heartless, you forever desire to receive a victory.
No more try to be merciless, Akash beseeches you. Do not wash away me from your memory.

An Evening in a Ballroom

Over a thousand people’s participation
this is my life’s inevitable invitation.

I cannot refuse attending this invitation.
If I don’t join, a rumor expands like a smell
of rat, this stench I may not be able to keep away.

I’m facing this most hardest situation
of my life. I know the forsaking of pleasure
and accepting this infliction is not easy to tolerate.
It’s the misfortune in my life.
I cannot refuse to attend in this invitation.
On this occasion, I must make a good show.

The event gets started.
I sit in a luxurious chair.
Heavy perfume’s scent circulates through my nose
to the liver. Glamorous scenery bothers my eyes.
The inflorescences’ picturesqueness adjoin to comfort
my bored psyche, but the candelabrums’ modest lights
cannot create a romantic moment for me.

The occasion, it’s a holding
of a wedding ceremony. She is in a cherubic simile
with the white gown and veil. Her valuable pearl and crystal
necklace gleams in lights. Her amusing activities
do not attract my quietude. When she accepts
the Scott Kay Ring from her groom — embraces
and kisses and begins to dance on the dancing floor.
Her activities distract me as if I’ve fallen from a waterfall.
It’s a punishment to see her.
But I must make a good show.

Maybe I’m wrong.
It’s a deception to my true love.
Her blue eyes are insidious.
Her grimy soul is conspiratorial.

I glance all around.
Elegant ballroom, multi colors’ shiny
cosmic curtains look like a masterpiece that cover
the wall. In the cheerful surrounding, the invitees
are enjoying with the feast Beach Causal, Bohemian.
The groups of kids are gleefully
swallowing the dessert Demi Sweet.

No matter, what they are doing.
I speculate about her.
How easily does she masquerade?

With the live Jazz music,
I make my allies the shots
of champagne, scotch and cigarettes.
I do not know
How much do I drink?
Maybe I’ll lose my control.

My heart is heavier
than a hundred tons of sand.
My head spins
like a wheel in 95 mph speed.
It’s arduous to lie to the masses.

It’s okay.
I can make a good show.

I want to forget her blue insidious eyes.
I’m not gonna remind me of her grimy conspiratorial soul.